Expert advice on break ups and civil partnerships

5th September 2012

Lucy Cohen, one of four all-female partners of Williscroft & Co solicitors specialises in family law and civil partnerships and gives her tips and expert advice to help couples going through separation …

Q.  My partner's been unfaithful, again, and the only answer for me is to end our civil partnership but he won't listen. I know I need legal advice but I don't know where to start?

A.  Sorry to hear it, break ups are hard enough and even more difficult if your partner isn’t listening to how you feel. It sounds like you are doing the right thing by seeking advice – having a lawyer’s support will help you and your partner come to an agreement and resolve the problem in the right way. 

Start by finding a solicitor who clearly understands your situation and who you feel confident can give the best advice, ideally a lawyer specialising in same-sex relationships, as there are many different issues involved.  The first step would be to support you in dealing with your cheating partner, understanding all the options available to you both to reach some sort of mutual understanding. You will then find that with the expertise of a solicitor, some of the complicated issues involved in a ‘dissolution’ or legal separation become much clearer and easier to work out.  There are lots of legal factors to consider depending on your relationship and situation, from property ownership to rights concerning children, but these are all things that family law solicitors can support you through. 

I hope that helps you understand what steps to take and that you and your partner work things out in the best possible way. 

Q.  We're considering a civil partnership but still unsure if it’s worth the paper it’s written on. We’re perfectly happy without being in a ‘legal’ relationship, but we would like to start a family and it feels like the right thing to do, can you advise whether we should go ahead?

A.  It’s a big step to take and certainly isn’t the right thing for every couple who feel happy and just as loyal to one another without making legal vows.  It’s got to feel right for both you and your partner, but it is worth knowing that being in a civil partnership gives you both certain legal rights in relation to any children you may have or property that you both own.  I know we don’t like to think about these issues but, entering into a civil partnership would ensure that both of you, as parents, would have equal rights should the worst-case scenario happen and you decide to separate – whereby a formal ‘dissolution’ would be required.

Complications are more likely to arise if you start a family and you have not registered as civil partners.  In this case, even if the child was conceived or adopted with the intention that they would be part of the family, one partner maybe left without any automatic legal rights in relation to that child.

There is also the risk that if you do not have a Civil Partnership then if a property is owned in the sole name of one partner, then the other may not have any rights of occupation of the family home. In the event of separation the court would also have very limited powers to ensure that both civil partners were provided for financially. 

If you feel uncomfortable making your relationship ‘legal’ there are lots of solutions to help ease your concerns.  For example, a pre-nuptial agreement might give you peace of mind that you and your partner are in total agreement. I would advise you to speak to a family lawyer who specialises in civil partnerships and can fully understand your growing family.  They can support you through the process of potentially legalising your relationship and guide you in making the best decisions in relation to children or financial issues.

Q. I am considering entering into a Civil Partnership but my family are worried that my partner may then be entitled to a share of our families wealth and he comes from a less privileged background than me. Is there anything that I can do to reassure my family?

If there is a great disparity in the amount that you both earn or the property that you own then you should consider entering into a pre nuptial agreement before entering into a civil partnership.

In the unfortunate event that you separate, on dissolution the court does have the power to transfer property between civil partners, make orders for maintenance, and also share pensions. If you have entered into a prenuptial agreement then you will have taken steps to protect any wealth that you may have before the civil partnership which should provide adequate reassurance for your family and help everyone to enjoy your special day.

Q. I have been informed that I should enter into a Civil Partnership to ensure that my partner and I are provided for in the event that one of us dies. Is this true?

If you have registered a Civil Partnership, then in the event of dissolution or the death of either of your partner, you may be entitled to rely on your partners National Insurance contributions in order to qualify for a state pension.

Unfortunately the Civil Partnership Act falls short of giving civil partners equal rights to heterosexual couples in relation to occupational pension schemes.

Q. I have set a date for a Civil Partnership. I already have a will but want to ensure that my partner is fully provided for in the event of my death. Is there anything that I need to do?

On registering your civil partnership your existing is automatically revoked. Therefore, you will need to see a solicitor to draw up a new will. We would suggest that you do this before you register the civil partnership and at the same time seek advice about prenuptial agreements.